Perservance - Not always easy!

 

Perseverance – Not always easy!

Oh to persevere……   I always think of it as accomplishing what I want to finish no matter what.   The Merriam Webster dictionary says perseverance means: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition: the action or condition or an instance of persevering :  STEADFASTNESS

What does perservance mean to you?  Can you look back and remember when you have preserved?  What were the circumstances?  Did you succeed or were you able to let go of what had happened and leave it go?   Was there a time when you had to get someone else involved to help you out?

Perhaps sometimes the hardest thing to do is ask for help…….  When we are first widowed, there are many things we need to learn how to do as they were things our husband did.  We often had to except the fact there were some things we just could not do.

Ironically in looking into what the Bible had to say about perseverance, the parable that kept coming up was the Parable of the Persistent Widow in Luke 18:1-8.   It reads:  Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought.  And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’ ”And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says.  And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?  I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

How many times have we heard a sermon on this passage?  In scriptures, Jesus often talks about the widows and children. As widows, we are very important to Him and there are many scriptures on helping the widows. With that being said, while we are grieving, discouragement often sets in and we wonder how we are going to make it through life. How often have we felt as time goes on that no one cares, unless they have gone through what we have gone through!

There are injustices in life, but how do we overcome them?  We truly need to persevere and to rely on God to help us through these injustices.   We may also need to get counsel for some things.  The judge whom this widow had gone to time and again did not seem to care.  What about God?  What had he promised?   And would He fulfill His promise! Isaiah 54:4-5 reads: “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
God of all the earth. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.  You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.  For your Maker is your husband – the Lord Almighty is his name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.”

What a fabulous promise!  Sometimes reading this is almost too good to be true.  But if He says it, He will do it. God granted the widow at the well justice against her adversary.   He will do the same for you!  The widow was persistent enough to provoke the judge to grant her request.  Her persistence reflected faith, that her request would be granted. 

Do we have this kind of faith?  Are we able to persist with this kind of faith with God?  So often it is do difficult to truly believe that God is with us each step of the way.  My prayer is that you do or you have someone to help guide you along the way.

God has promised us in Philippians 4:6:  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  If you are going through a tough time, this scripture may be difficult to accept.  On the flip side, if you have seen God work with you during those tough times, you know He is there for you.

My prayer for each of you reading this, is that you will allow God to help you persevere!

                                                            

Becoming Independent

Becoming Independent…..

It seems with each of the major holidays, it causes me to reflect on what they are all about and what they mean.  Is there really any significance?  Am I reading too much into the holidays?   A lot has to do on how we were raised.  Many holidays have great meaning and others may not.

 

By nature, some of us are independent and some are not.  We are either followers or leaders.  It seems it is just who we are - neither is good or bad.   Some of it is a learned behavior based on our upbringing.  Some is based on events that have happened in our lives.   We all seem to go through highs and lows in our lives.  Many times we become who we are by the way we react to these events. 

However, it does seem if we have a lot of things going on in our lives that are negative. It is easy to fall into the category of being let down with no idea of how to crawl out of the lows of our life.   Many people do not have someone in their life to help them through the bad times.  Others believe that God will take care of all the bad and turn it into good.  Often times He does, but it isn’t necessarily in our timing.  I think of Mary and Martha who were so sad that their brother Lazarus had died.  Martha said to Jesus if He had been there, Lazarus wouldn’t have died.  John 11:35 reads: Jesus wept.  Jesus also loved Lazarus as did Mary and Martha.  However, Jesus was able to raise up Lazarus.   Jesus has the ability to heal all, but not all will be healed here on earth.  Our faith in Christ is that one day we will all be whole again – it may happen on earth or in heaven.  Jesus morns with us as we are hurting.  He understands us, but he sees the whole picture.

How have you reacted to your new independence?    We were so used to doing things as a couple and now we are making all of the decisions.   Has that been an easy thing for you?   If you have always been independent, it probably has been pretty easy. If it has been something you have had to work at, you may be finding that you are struggling making that decision.  It takes a while to get used to it.  When it comes to a big decision, often you will need to get a second opinion and that is a good thing. 

Please remember, there will always be times for a second opinion.  As you begin comfortable with your decision, you will become more comfortable with yourself and more independent. 

We will never forget our loves ones who have gone before us.  However, our hope is in Christ.   Our hope reads:  1 Thessalonians 4:13 – 19:  ¹³ Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. ¹⁴ For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. ¹⁵ According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. ¹⁶ For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸ Therefore encourage one another with these words.

So often it is easy to question others on their journey even if our journeys are similar.  If we are compassionate towards someone who is going through something we have, we understand what they are going through and feel their pain.  If we have pity on them, it’s not the same.  Pity is often a negative emotion and often empowers us to feel better than the other person.

Jesus had compassion on Mary and Martha and that is why he cried.  He had the ability to heal Lazarus,  but He knew this would be a teaching moment for them.  We need to remember God is always in charge.  Many times these teaching moments are lessons which cause us to learn to become independent and lean on Him. 

I trust as you learn to become more independent, you become more secure with who you are and your relationship with God.   Allow God to lead you to help others on their journey in life no matter what it is. 

May God’s blessings become real to you in your life!   May we all become confident in our lives to help others.   I also pray if things are tough for you, God will put someone in your path to help you along the way.

Blessings to each of you my friends…….

Ever changing Life

Ever Changing Life

When life throws you a curve, how do you handle it?  Or does it depend on how big the curve is?  We all go through many highs and lows in our lives.  However, some are higher and some are lower.  Many times we go through long stretches of life being pretty even which is great. 

So often our lives goes rather smoothly.   We grow up, attend college, get married or move away.  We find our job we want or think we want, and continue on with life as we have had planned.  We may have a few bumps in the road along the way.  Those little bumps seem to help us grow to make better choices along the way. 

Isn’t it amazing on how many things affect us along the way?  We try to figure out what is right for us and not just right for those who we are close to.  So many times family or close friends think we need to live our lives the way they do.   Often times they are correct but often times we need to decide what is best for us as individuals. 

It truly seems like we get blindsided when things are going along as planed and – boom – something crazy happens that we never dreamed would happen.   We bury someone we love, some may get divorced, and jobs may take us away from family.   We may lose our jobs due to the economy or cutbacks with our employer.  Our children may choose to become part of the military which takes them to scary places or we are unable to see them for a few years.  There are probably a lot more I could come up with.  Isaiah 41:10 reads:  Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Some things that affected since my teen years are:  When I was 16 when one of my sister-in-law’s was killed in a car accident.  Her husband (my brother) and their two daughters moved in with my parents and my younger sister and I.  I was 22 when my mom passed away and 26 when my dad died.  At the age of 46, my husband passed away from heart attack and died.   One of my sons was in the Army and spent four tours in Iraq, Afghanistan and Kuwait.  My daughter and her husband had a full term son that was still born.  This sounds like a lot – and I’m not denying it isn’t, but it was over 54 years so there was time to digest each event.  Perhaps you have gone through deep issues with an illness, surgery or a lengthy recovery from an illness.

With the ‘normal’ ups and downs of life, along with issues going on in the world such as unrest, disease, famine, the economy, war and unrest.  Many of these do not affect us personally but many do.   Life doesn’t seem fair sometimes does it?

There are a couple of scriptures that are dear to my heart during troubling times.  They are:  Psalm 50:15: Call to me in times of trouble.  I will save you, and you will honor me.  The other is:  Romans 15:4:  Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us. The Scriptures give us patience and encouragement so that we can have hope.

The time in between each event, I was able to heal from that wound.  Even though each of these events were traumatic, some were more difficult to deal with than others.   Each of us processes things differently even though many parts of our journey are similar.  As you have gone through difficulties in your life, how have you reflected on what did or did not help you?  Some options of hope may be:

• Meet with someone who has walked down your journey to see how they handled different situations.
• What is your belief in God?  Do you have a faith that would help you sustain what you are going through?  
• Talk with your clergy where you attend church.
• If it is medical, speak with the hospital on who you can talk with.
• What about your trusted friend?
• Perhaps join a support group that helps with what you are going through.
• I also recommend a counselor to help you through this difficult time.

Knowing when I trust that God is in control, it helps me get through many of these hurdles.  I love how He puts people in my life to help me through each stage I go through.  Does it seem less difficult, sometimes yes and sometimes no.  I know I have to rely on Him to figure it out.  Sometimes my choices are good and sometimes they are not.   But this I do know, when I rely on God and am patient, it always turns out better.

Please remember to be patient with yourself and take one step at a time!   Nothing seems to happen overnight! 

Blessings to you as you walk through each journey.  Remember it’s what we learn from both the good and sad times.

Appreciate what you have……..

Self-Reflection

Self-Reflection

How many times have we talked about the new normal since our lives changed when we said good bye to our spouse?  Are you able to look back at what you went through and relate to what the world is going through lately?   How has your life changed in the last month?  Are you going just a little stir crazy?

We have no idea how long this current journey is going to go on, but what have we learned about our new normal?  I could list a ton of questions that have gone through my head!!    As I sort them out, probably the biggest thing I reflect on is what changes I want to make in my life...  I’ve thought about the busyness in my life before the coronavirus and was looking forward to not being so busy.  But what was I going to eliminate……  How was I going to change my new normal?

After Dan died, I found myself wrapped up in all that needed to be done, which seemed at the time to be a lot.  I was also blessed in my life with many friends and family that made sure I was not alone very often.  But then, I realized I was keeping so busy that I was unable to deal with my grief.  At that point I knew I needed to slow down and reflect on what was important to me and what was not.  In Deuteronomy 31:6 it reads:  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  When I think back to that time, there were probably people that I offended by stepping back but I came to the conclusion it was about me at the time and if they were to be in my life, they would come back into my life.   Most did……

In chatting with many of you over time, you have felt the same way.  Many of you have completed some major cleaning of your house, basement, garage or storage shed in your back yard.  For those that have done this or are in the process of doing that, great job!  Many have caught up on your reading or are reading a lot more or doing puzzles.  I have caught up on cleaning out files and cleaning files off of my laptop.

To be honest, what is next?   Have you sorted through any ideas?  Have you felt God nudging you along the way as to what He has for you?  Maybe during this time you have been able to do more things that you enjoy, such as walking, biking or reconnected with old or new friends via the phone, email, texting, and facetiming or zooming.  Or perhaps writing a letter, sending a note or a card to someone new or a friend.

There is not a need to hurry into a decision on what you want to do.  As we rely on what God may have us do, II Peter 3:9 reads: The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.  For me being patient isn’t always easy, but resting in the assurance that God has me helps for sure!

May you trust in God to help you with what you are going through at this time! If you are making any decisions, I pray you lean on Him for strength.   Rest in Him as Psalms 18:32 reads:  It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.

Blessings to each of you.   Remember God is with you each step of the way.    Just believe in Him!

Riding out the Storm

Riding Out The Storm….

Life in general has often times runs smoothly and then at times, we have several bumps in the road.  My thought was, there is probably a meaning out there on what ‘riding out the storm’ means.   Here is what I found:  To deal with a difficult situation without being harmed or damaged too much.  It was a difficult time but they managed to ride out the storm.

Our lives normally seem to have their ups and downs.   Throw in the loss of a spouse – things really change!  In time, we seem to be doing pretty well in our new ‘normal’.  During our process of learning to live without our spouse, we do learn to adjust.  Then we are thrown a ‘new normal’ which effects so many people and we have to adjust once again.  One of God’s promises is from Psalm 107:29:  He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.

As we go through these storms in life, how do we react or how do we get through them?  With the Coronavirus that has effected the world, we truly have to learn how to handle things so differently.   More so than we ever thought with being instructed to ‘stay at home’.  Thank goodness we have some exceptions such as getting essentials, going out for a drive or going for walks but keeping a six foot distance from other. 

There are so many questions each of us have.   Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, we each handle things differently.   With what has happened to us in the past, I hope we can reflect on those things to remember how we handled them and how that can apply to what we are currently going through.  

Feeling isolated and alone can be overwhelming……   There are so many options we have today even though we are staying inside.   There are several ways to stay connect.  We have social media – which can be good and bad.  There is our home phones, cell phones, facetime so we can see each other. There are applications such as Skype or Zoom where one can have several people on a call at one time to stay connected. 

What have you found that works for you?  Regardless of what you are going through, it is so important to stay connected with family and friends.  We do not need a ton of people in our lives but a few to help us get through these times. 

For me, keeping God as my focal person to go to, no matter what I am going through is where I go to first.  He is always there for me!  Yet sometimes I can be so impatient and I wonder if He is ever going to be there for me.  Psalm 89:8-9 reads:  Who is like you, Lord God Almighty?  You, Lord, are mighty, and you faithfulness surrounds you.  You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them. 

During the uncertain times in our lives, when things do not seem to go our way, God is always with us.  My prayer is that you rely on Him.   No matter what we are dealing with, with God’s help and the help of those close to us, we will get through get through these uncertain times.

My prayer is you feel God’s arms wrapped around you.  If you know of someone who has walked down the path of widowhood, don’t hesitate to reach to them.  If you are feeling isolated or alone, please reach out to someone you trust...

Blessings and hugs to each of you!

Are you feeling blessed?

Are you feeling blessed?

I wonder how many will look at this title and shut down thinking – I’ve lost my husband and I see no blessing in that!  Perhaps we may hear this word used loosely.  Truly my hope is each of you feel blessed or eventually will feel God’s blessing in your life. 

My mother’s favorite scripture was Psalms 103:1-6 which reads:  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. (ESV)   The night she passed away, her bible was opened up to this passage!

As you are healing from your loss, each day certainly has its ups and downs.  My prayer is you will eventually see more ups than downs.   Are you able to look at your journey and see any ‘blessings’ that has helped you to with a better attitude, put a smile on your face or think how you may help someone else on this journey?  We certainly cannot bring our loved ones back, but through our faith in God, He has given us this promise.  1 Peter 5:10 (ESV) reads:  And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Many times when I am feeling down or wondering where God is, this scripture that meant so much to my mom, comes to my mind.  You may have a scripture that you refer to when you are wondering where God is, I would love to hear your blessing.

Perhaps you are in the part of your grief where you are unable to think about blessing others.  However, you may have seen how others have helped you along the way, and you are ready to bless someone. 

Regardless if we have been widowed or are just going through a tough time in our life, God promises to walk with us in the midst of what we are going through.  Psalms 138:7 reads:  Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me. (NIV)

My challenge to you is to reflect on how others have blessed you.   Thinking on that, how may you bless someone today or tomorrow and help them along their journey?

May you feel God’s arms wrapped around you!  May you feel His love!  May you share His love and blessings with others!!!