Changing Traditions???
This year Thanksgiving is later which
seems to put less time to prepare before Christmas arrives! Normally I would fret about not being
organized and wondering if I was going to get everything done. For some reason, this year I am not fretting
but looking forward to spending the holidays with my children and their
families.
As a child, I remember Christmas being
so special. There was always the
anticipation of having all of our family home.
On Christmas Day, my dad would harness up the horses, attach the sleigh
to them and we would be gone all afternoon.
Below is a picture of my dad, one of my brothers, two nieces and a
nephew.
As we all grew up and had families of
our own, some of our traditions changed.
My parents moved from our hobby farm in Coon Rapids, MN to Minneapolis,
MN and the horses were sold. Our
families grew and to try to find a place to get together was difficult. Besides that, many moved out of Minnesota due
to jobs.
For myself, I wanted to keep the
tradition of having Christmas Eve in our home and we did. However, that tradition changed with the loss
of Dan. What traditions do we keep and
what new traditions do we try?
Our lives have changed and it will
never be the same. As difficult as that
may sound, what would your loved one want you to do? Would they want you to change things
up? Would they want you to keep things
the same? Probably not! What they most likely would like is for you
to remember them and not forget the love they had for your family. One of the promises from the Bible that I
have learned over the years comes from Psalms 34:18 (Good News Translation)
which reads: The LORD is near to those who are
discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope.
Over time our traditions have changed
especially over the holidays. Not all of
my children live in Minnesota, so we often travel to where they live. Unfortunately, not every year for every
holiday are we together. I will admit –
that one was one change that took me the longest to get used to. For those of us who are together, we still
get together on Christmas Eve for dinner and gift opening. Christmas Day is more relaxed than it used to
be. Our dinners have also changed from
having a big dinner to appetizers or sometimes both.
Sometimes we just need to give
ourselves permission to change things.
It may take a while to figure out what may or may not work for you. Another one of the great promises God had for
us comes from Matthew 11:28 which reads: Come to
me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Perhaps another word for rest would be
peace.
May I suggest a few options? Below are a
few possibilities for you this year or the coming years. Nothing needs to change or perhaps you need
a change.
- Break a tradition:
- If you have been the host to holiday’s in the past, suggest to one of you children or other family member host these first few holidays.
- Invite another person to your holiday who is also alone.
- Perhaps this year is just too difficult to be with others, give yourself permission to spend it alone.
- Remembering your spouse:
- Put together a memory book of your spouse. You may also invite others to add memories to this book. This doesn’t need to be just for the holidays but can be for all year long.
- Make or purchase decorations in honor of you loved one.
- Continue to hang the stocking of your loved one. Let your guests know ahead of time to bring a written note of your loved one and put it in their stocking. Take turns pulling the memories out of the stocking and read them. Hopefully, you will have some happy memories that will make you laugh and sometimes cry.
- Donate to a charity of your choice in honor of your loved one.
- What about you?
- Perhaps schedule a massage, pedicure or manicure for yourself.
- It’s ok to turn down events that you are having a difficult time deciding if you want to attend.
- Be open with your family and friends on what you are feeling. Unless they have been in your shoes, they may not understand your choices.
God’s promise is to be there for
us. He gave us the promise of the birth
of Jesus in Isaiah 7:14: Therefore the Lord himself will give you a
sign. The virgin will conceive and give
birth to a son and he will be called Immanuel. As with the promise of Jesus birth from
the Old Testament to the reality of the New Testament, we have the hope that we
will see our loved ones again!
My
prayer for each of you is to find peace in this Christmas season. Those that have gone before us are always in
our hearts!
Merry
Christmas!
