Trust – Possible or Impossible

Trust – Possible or Impossible

Do you ever feel like there seems to be so many decisions that are happening in your life and you don’t know where to turn?   Some of these decisions seem easy to make and others seem difficult.  What if I make the wrong decision?  What if I trust the wrong person?  What if I do not have all the facts to make a decision?

As we go through different stages of our lives, we change!  The one constant we have is God never changes.  Luke 18:27 reads:  What is impossible with man is possible with God.  As we struggle to believe this and to move forward, we need to do what is possible and trust God with the impossible. 

Easier said than done sometimes right?  How can I truly believe that?  Do you ever reflect on what you have gone through and then realized you made it through those times that seemed impossible?  We have so many examples of things that are possible with God within the scripture.

• Mary and Joseph escaped Egypt with their infant son Jesus.   Caesar had issued an order to kill all the infant boys under the age of 2.   Story found in Matthew 2.
• Paul went to Jerusalem despite the likelihood of his arrest.  His calling to teach there trumped fear for his survival.  Story found in Acts 2.
• Abigail struck out on a donkey directing a food caravan as a gift to her husband Nabal, avowed enemy, David.  She feared returning home to her husband but God was with her and she was protected.  Story found in 1 Samuel 25

How often do we think – well that was in Biblical times.   This doesn’t happen today!  Or does it?   I am one who likes to journal these types of things that have happened in my life.  As I look back as both of my parents died when I was in my early 20’s, my husband died at the age of 47, one of my son’s has had four tours abroad in the military and I was laid off from a job I loved at the age of 62.  With each of these events in my life, I wondered where God was and how was He going to bring me through each of these situations.

One of God’s promises that I love is found in Luke 1:45 which reads:  Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!   He has fulfilled His promises to me and He will for you also.  This doesn’t mean we will not have tough times and have struggles along the way, but it does mean God is there for us!

I know I often talk about having someone in your court that you can trust to help you along your journey through life.   Sometimes those people change throughout out our lives, as some come in and out of our life.   It is important to have that person who is looking out for you, a prayer warrior, a trusted person with finances and that practical person who can give you that advise you need.

I hope and pray that each of you has someone in your life that you can share what is going on, and know they are looking out for you!   Remember:  “Do what’s possible and trust God with the impossible!”

Blessings to each of you. 

Blessed with memories…

Blessed with memories…

I don’t know about you, but do you ever have one of those days when plans do not happen the way you thought they would or should.  I thought I would have a short day, I would come home and just chill, read and have my own hang time.  To be honest, I was just looking for some ‘me’ time.   It sounds kind of selfish but sometimes it’s necessary.

Bear with me as I set the stage as I write this blog……  Saturday had been a busy day as I had meet former neighbors for an early lunch.  We had met these friend when Dan and I bought our first house.  Midafternoon, I headed to a wedding for a great nephew which was a little over an hour from my house.  The wedding was a beautiful outdoor wedding.  The bride and groom got up to thank everyone for coming and they were so sweet!  Come to fine out, it was the bride’s parent’s 25^th wedding anniversary and the minister’s 12^th wedding anniversary.  How cool is that!

The next day after church I headed over to some friends, who have been friends it seems like forever.   Another couple joined us for the afternoon.  There is one other couple that were not able to join us. The three men met Dan at Ft. Snelling as they worked together in the Army Reserves and were often referred to as ‘the four musketeer’s’.   One of the men has a dry sense of humor and started drilling me (all is jest) about how often I go to the Ft. Snelling Cemetery, knowing full well I am not one that goes very often.   Neither of these men go to the cemetery, so it was decided that the five of us would go to the cemetery.   We spent about 20 minutes there and felt we should leave because we were telling stories and were all laughing so much, that we were getting some weird looks.  We did realize on the way home we probably should have been more sensitive with those around us

This isn’t the way I had planned on spending the day but it was good for me.   However, to listen to them tell stories about Dan that I had not heard (some of them I had) was good medicine even after 23 years.  I thought there would be Army stories that would be a little out there, but there wasn’t.  Perhaps they were protecting me….   What I thought would be a 2 or 3 hour afternoon turned into 6 hours.

You’re probably thinking where I am going with this! 

On my way home, I could only be thankful for the laughter of good friends and be blessed for them being in my life.  One of God’s promises is Matthew 5:4 which reads:  Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.   I love this promise and how God brings those into our lives that stand beside us.  Those we cry with, laugh with and enjoy life with….  

Life isn’t always easy or fair.  Things happen that are truly game changers.  For those of you who are struggling with a game changer, God does promise to be by your side and walk with you through your journey no matter what it is.  Often times it is just the little things along the way that cause us to realize He is there for us.  It may be that butterfly flying by or a beautiful bird that reminds you of that special person in your life.    Isaiah 41:10 is another great promise which reads:  Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

My prayer would be that you find God’s comfort in your life.   If you do not have someone in your life to help you with your new journey, I pray that you find one to help you along the way!   May your good memories sustain you and bring a smile to your face. 

Blessing to each of you!!!!

Is Your Journey Unsettled??

Is Your Journey Unsettled??

Is it just me or do you find yourself unsettled?   I truly believe I am on the path that God wants me to be on.  However, I often second guess myself as I try to analyze whether or not what I am doing is right.  Do you ever feel that way?  I don’t believe I am alone in this.

For those of us who have had a journey from being married to widowhood, the one who was always our sounding board is no longer with us.  So how do we get beyond this?  Is this something that happens more times than we like?  Or does it?  Is just one of those days when we just need assurance from that friend or family member that we can we can count on? 

It may be some or all of that!  As we walk down this journey, we may have had the gift of having someone walk with us.   For those of us who have had the privilege of having women of faith walk we us, we begin to notice a few things that help our journey.

There has been a passage in the Bible which I have always believed.  Many times in my life I have found I have needed to rely on it more times than others.  It is from Proverbs 3:5 which reads: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  I will be the first to admit that this scripture isn’t always the easiest one to believe in when I am hurting or second guessing myself.  So often I think I can handle it all but in reality, I cannot.  However, when I totally take it to heart, I find God truly is there with me each step of the way.

What do you do when you are struggling with life’s challenges, a new decision on a job change, a possible move, or a family member going through a tough time that they cannot decide what to do?   May I suggest a suggestion or two?

• Go to that friend who you can talk with in confidence without judgement.
• Seek out a counselor to talk with.  If you do not know one, talk with your pastor or trusted friend for a suggestion.
• There is a lot of great books to read.
• Perhaps meet a good friend and do a Bible Study together.
• For me, it is reading but also being in prayer for God’s direction.

We can rest in peace, hope and God with his promise found in:  Matthew 19:26 reads:  But Jesus looked at them and said to them, ‘With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

We have not been promised that each step is going to be easy, but we have the assurance from God in John 14:27:  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubles and do not be afraid.

As I reread this blog today, I may be writing it for myself.  But no matter what you are going through in your journey, this may be of encouragement to you.

Blessings to you my friends.   May you feel God’s arms wrapped around you each new day!

Change and New Beginnings

Change and New Beginnings

Life seems to be full of changes!  Many of the changes in our lives we plan for, just work out.  It’s so easy during the good times to believe life is so amazing and nothing will happen in our lives to change this.  And thank goodness for the most part it doesn’t.  Planning for things in life is a good thing for sure!

But what do we do in those other times - when things happen which we have absolutely no control of!  Oh how often and easy is it to fall apart!  And that is a part of grief and its ok! God’s promise from the Old Testament reads:  Isaiah 54:10 (NIV) Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Boy that is a hard verse to rely on when we are down and wondering if we will ever be happy again!  Thank goodness for the hope we have in Christ that even when we are in the valley, He will be there to help us climb that mountain.

For those that know me, know that I am a planner and have been most of my life.  One of the good things about my late husband being in the military, was he always had to have his ducks in a row regarding the ‘what ifs’ if something happened to him. When he did pass away, I knew what to expect for me going forward financially. 

It is so important to be prepared for the unplanned.  I have heard so many stories of those that have not had things in order and how devastated they are at the time of a loss. Because of that, I have become an advocate on making sure your ‘ducks’ are in a row. However, there are a few things to think about if you are at the early stage of widowhood.  They are:

•  It is recommended you avoid making major life changes such as selling your home or changing jobs within the first year.
•  If you are still working, consider asking your HR department about taking a leave of absence or reducing your hours for a period of time.
•  Regarding legal matters consider:
• Talk with your attorney about your home, automobile or other property.
• Insurance policies
• Bank accounts
• Dependent issues
•   Set up a meeting with your financial adviser.
• Gather and review all your statements
• Notifying all Institutions
• Tax considerations
•   Check on your Life Insurance Policy
•   Notify Social Security
•  Take care of your health. 
• Make an appointment with your doctor.
• Make an appointment for a massage, pedicure or manicure.

As we begin to heal and accept that we must move forward, we need to decide how or what we are going to do next.  Many times it has been said, that we just need to take the first step.  I would encourage you to become involved with Grief Share (website:  www.griefshare.org.)  Another suggesting would be to find a local widow group in your area.  In the Twin Cities, go to: www.widowmight.org.  In the Chicago area:  www.widowconnection.com. 

My prayer is that you will find peace in your journey.  It certainly does not happen overnight!  One of God’s many promises is the peace he gives us.  John 16:3 (NIV):  I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. 

Each new day is a new beginning.  We cannot change yesterday and tomorrow is not promised to us.  However, we can take that first step today!   If you feel you have taken a step backwards, do not beat yourself up.  Just take that first new step!

I have seen this statement many times and I cannot agree with it more.   The quote is by C.S. Lewis and it reads:  “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ― C.S. Lewis

May God bless you as you walk this new journey in your life!  He is faithful to walk with you each step of the way, one day at a time.

Blessings to you!  

Acts of Kindness

Acts of Kindness

It seems we hear quite a bit about acts of kindness, but do we follow through with any of those acts.  At times, we just are not sure what we should do.   In my early part of my widowhood, I remember an unexpected phone call, a sweet email, receiving a card in the mail just when I seemed to have needed it most or an invite for going out for coffee or lunch at the last minute. 

Oh how important any of those things meant to me!  I often think of the scripture from Ephesians 4:32 which reads:  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.  So many have been tenderhearted and it truly brings a smile to my face when someone shows those acts of kindness.  

Often with time, we either are too busy to remember who are alone.  They still need that phone call, a card, or a coffee get together just to let them know that they are still being thought of.  As time goes by, it is easy to forget that they are still lonely and are in the process of healing from their loss.  With each one of us the process, the process is on its own timeline. 

For those who are introvert, very seldom – if ever will ask for help.  For those who are extroverts, people assume they have it all together and are ok.  No matter what your personality is or the stage of widowhood we are at, it means a lot to be blessed with an act of kindness.  Some ideas for doing something big or small:

• Invite her to go see a movie.
• Send a note or card on her birthday or special holiday
• Pick up the phone and call her.  If she doesn’t answer, leave a message so she can return the call when she is able to.
• Purchase a gift card for a massage, manicure or a pedicure.  Physical touch is healing and helps with relaxation.
• Provide a meal n a disposable container, noting who it is from but requesting that no thank you note be written.
• Purchase her a book.  There are a lot of good books out there.
• If she has children, offer to babysit so she can get a little time away.
• Offer to help drive kids to their activities.
• Give her a journal and write the first entry for her.

From talking with others and from my own experience, it is amazing to help out others no matter what the situation is.  Not only are we a blessing to those going through a tough time in their life, but for those giving the blessing, it is also rewarding.   Galatians 6:10 states:  So then, as we have the opportunity, let us do well to everyone. It seems in our times of desperation or new journey in life, God’s grace and mercy are there with us.  

My hope and prayer is that we as widows will ask for help when needed.  For those of you who are able, I pray you will offer help.  Or ask how you may be of help.   If you need help, please do not hesitate to ask. 

May God bless each of you!!

Strength and Rest

Strength and Rest

What comes to mind when you think of strength and rest?  For many of you, you have gone down this journey of widowhood and are feeling Gods strength wrapped around you.  Others may be wondering if this will ever happen.  This journey in your life that has been full of changes, you may think you will never have the strength to move forward or feel restful with your new journey in life.

From my own experience and others who have walked this journey, being connected to someone that has gone down this path is so helpful.  For many, this is what gets them through to begin the process of feeling God’s peace and strength again. 

One of God’s many promises is: 1 Peter 5:10 reads: And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. You may wonder if this will ever be what you feel again.  What does this scripture have to do with what you are going through now?!  It is the hope that we will get through this journey together.

When you think of all the things you had previously planned and all the dreams you may have had, life has changed and unfortunately, we need to adjust to a new life.   What is it you enjoy or like to do as an individual?   Perhaps a new project around your home with the simplest change of a new picture to hang, or new rugs and towels in your bathroom would do the trick.  Or if you are really energetic, redoing an entire room in your home.  I know that sounds like a big project!  If this seems overwhelming, start with something smaller.

Rest assured that God is with you during this season of your life.  No matter what has changed, He wants you to know that He is with you each step of the way.   I ran across this verse the other day which reads:  Psalms 92:12: But the godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. I thought what are the cedars of Lebanon and what does it have to do with me?  Cedar was a tree often mentioned in Scripture and was considered stately, was long branched, durable and used for boards, pillars and ceilings.  

Applying that to what God would have for us, He wants us to be strong and flourish.  What is it you would want?   For some of you, it may be to just get through today.  For others, you may take some of those dreams to travel, work on a new project, or walk beside another widow to help her through this tough time.  

One day you may just wake up and think, “I CAN do this!”   Maybe today is the day you realize God has good things for you!   There may be those days down the road when you second guess yourself.   Many times it is just blind faith that gets you through your journey. 

I encourage you to take a leap of faith!   For some of you it may just be taking that first small step today.  For others, it may be bigger than that!   What is tugging at your heart to do the next, no matter how small or big it is?

Blessings to each of you!   God has something great for each of you.  We each walk our own path and each of us has something special to offer one another.

Anticipating the New Year

Anticipating the New Year

With each New Year we often have anticipations of what we are hoping for.  When we think about the prior year, we may be thinking we made it.  But we are hoping this next year will be better.

Personally I am one that takes a look at what happened the year before to reflect on what may become in the New Year.  When we are hurting, it may be difficult to remember the happy or good things that happened in the past year.  If this is the first New Year without your spouse, even thinking of new plans may be painful.  Regardless what happened last year – good or bad, we cannot change it but the hope we have is in Christ.  Psalms 39:7 reads: “But now Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.”

What are your thoughts of how you will handle the upcoming year?   Have you even thought about what your plans are?  Have you thought about what you would like to do?

May I suggest you take a look at what your strengths are?  What do you like to do?  What is worthwhile or important to you? Perhaps, just taking a look at ourselves and rediscover who we are may help us make some decisions.   Some suggestions to think about:

• Attempt to get back into a routine.
• This may be a good time to complete a project such as organizing photos.
• Or perhaps a new project such as crafting, plan a trip or join a new group.

I realize some of these may be a stretch for some of you.   But I also realize some may just need a little encouragement to help decide what you may need to do for you.  Remember God is always with us during the good times and bad times.  Hebrews 13:5b – 6 reads:  “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.”

New beginnings may be difficult, but just taking that first step can be an opportunity for you to discover who you are.   I totally understand that this may not be easy, but I have confidence that you can take that first step.  God is always by our side.  

Blessings to you as you begin 2019.  May you find God’s peace in your life!