Forgiveness and Peace
You may be
thinking what does ‘Forgiveness’ have to do with widowhood? As many struggle through the grief of our
spouse, we may be wondering if we did enough for your spouse. Maybe your spouse died quickly and you didn’t
have the opportunity to say things to them to make things right. Or perhaps, your spouse suffered with a
lengthy illness and you may be wishing you would have done more.
Many have
shared the ‘what ifs’ of their relationship with their spouse. Many have shared they had an amazing marriage
and yet there were things they wished they had done differently. Still others had a marriage of ups and downs
with regrets. Others have said they are
glad the rough years were in the beginning of their marriage and with God’s
help were able to work things out. And yet
others said the last few years were the hardest but they were committed to
their vows and believed God was with them.
Regardless
of what your marriage was like, when your spouse dies, many have shared that
they have had guilt and have felt they will never have a chance to ask for
forgiveness. One of the many great
verses on forgiveness is from Ephesians 1:7 which reads: In him
we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance
with the riches of God’s grace. How
easy is it for us to feel guilty about what we cannot say or do? God truly does not want us to live in the
past with what we cannot change. He has
forgiven us all by dying on the cross.
He has given us grace and mercy to move forward.
Our saving
grace is God’s redemption. John 10:10
states: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that
they may have life and have it full. In
other words, Satan will try to take away your joy with guilt. Christ has come to give your life to the
fullest for you to live without guilt.
If we keep
looking in the rear view mirror, we are unable to move forward. Forgiving ourselves is one of the most
difficult things to do. Remember you
are in charge of your thoughts. If you
continue to harbor the ‘what ifs’ or the unforgiveness, you will not be able to
move forward with forgiveness. We need
to take control of our thoughts and get rid of the negative thoughts. We can
then have peace as it says in Isaiah: 3:26 says: You will
keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in
you.
It is
amazing as time goes by, we do seem to forget the things that hurt us and are
able to remember the good things that have happened in our lives. I truly believe that comes with forgiveness. Psalms 103:12 reads: As far as the east is from the
west, so far has He removed your transgressions from us. In other words, God does not keep track of
our mistakes and transgressions. They
are gone and He forgives us.
God has so
much in store for us and wants us to be forgiven and live a full life. We just need to believe! My prayer for you if you are feeling as if
you ca not forgive yourself, that you would pray for God’s forgiveness. Let it go and let God take control of your
life.
Remembering
the good times we shared and letting go of the not so good times, is much
healthier. As we think of our spouse’s
goofy laugh, or their quirky mannerism’s, that favorite shirt of theirs that we
wished we had thrown away (maybe we eventually did) or how they mowed the lawn
or shoveled the driveway puts a smile on our face.
May God
richly bless you as walk this journey and remember the good and forgive what we
have no control off. Remember God loves
each of us and has much in store for us.
